The Phone Call is a song sung in Act-1 of Lucky Stiff. In the song, Vinne, Rita's brother, calls his wife, Mary Alice, to tell her he won't be home.
Lyrics[]
- Uh, hello?
- Mary Alice,
- Can you hear me?
- Listen, honey,
- I'm calling to tell you,
- There's a problem.
- Are you sitting?
- Well, I won't be home for dinner tonight.
- You know Nicky?
- Rita's husband?
- Well, I think he is planning to kill me.
- Mary Alice,
- It's not funny,
- And I won't be home for dinner tonight.
- Don't hold the meatloaf.
- Don't toss the salad.
- Don't talk to strangers,
- And make up some excuse for mom.
- Call all my patients.
- Break my appointments.
- Please, Mary Alice, just be calm.
- Are you finished?
- Are you better?
- Mary Alice, you're overreacting.
- Honey bunny, are you crying?
- It's your birthday,
- Gee, I'm sorry.
- Mary Alice, it's only a birthday.
- So you're forty,
- I'm in danger,
- And I can't come home for dinner to...
- Blow out the candles,
- Open the presents,
- Please, Mary Alice...
- I'm in Europe,
- In an airport,
- With no wallet,
- No cards,
- And no money.
- With my sister,
- Who is crazy,
- And who's got me in an awful jam.
- So the answer, Mary Alice,
- Is I won't be home for dinner.
- Mary Alice...
- Mary Alice...
- Damn!